Welcome to my blog! This is a place where I can share my learning. My blog is a collection of questions, ideas, learning in progress and finished work. This year our school focus is "In Our Backyard". Please make comments so I can deepen my understanding, learn about new ideas and improve my work. Thank you for taking the time to support my learning journey!
Kia ora Zejm, I really like the way your blog post described your writing. I liked the way you thought of all those different cultures and their statues. Ka pai! The opening sentence in your story was very descriptive and grabbed my attention. You also used some great descriptive words like slithering and screech. I love the way you described cobwebs sticking to your face, it immediately puts a shiver up the reader's spine. Next time you could look at breaking your first sentence up into smaller sentences. Did you notice you have used "and" six times. Can you think of some interesting sentence starters you could use to break up this sentence? Like immediately, suddenly, as if by magic, everywhere, as dusk fell.... I wonder if you will write another chapter that tells us why the statues are there and who made the screeching noise? blog you later, Megan : )
Kia ora Zejm, I really like the way your blog post described your writing. I liked the way you thought of all those different cultures and their statues. Ka pai!
ReplyDeleteThe opening sentence in your story was very descriptive and grabbed my attention. You also used some great descriptive words like slithering and screech. I love the way you described cobwebs sticking to your face, it immediately puts a shiver up the reader's spine.
Next time you could look at breaking your first sentence up into smaller sentences. Did you notice you have used "and" six times. Can you think of some interesting sentence starters you could use to break up this sentence? Like immediately, suddenly, as if by magic, everywhere, as dusk fell....
I wonder if you will write another chapter that tells us why the statues are there and who made the screeching noise? blog you later, Megan : )